Inspiration Explanation: Part II

I can’t help but feel that something went wrong.

Everything fell apart before our very eyes and there was NOTHING we could do about it.

I have held off from blogging because I have had no words until now!

No one ever would have thought that I would become pregnant and have a diagnosis of breast cancer simultaneously, move back to the UK from America for treatment, have chemotherapy whilst pregnant, have a beautiful baby, then 6 days later she would undergo surgery for rare congenital heart defects, survive surgery, but then suddenly die 14 days later, I’d have a mastectomy and breast reconstruction 20 days later, then my baby’s funeral 9 days after that, and now more chemo after an unsuccessful egg harvest to rescue any potential fertility I had… which is not looking promising…

My name is Laura and this paragraph above sums up the last 12 months of my life.

I am a rainbow mama twice over, I am a breast cancer warrior, I am here and present…. And I really couldn’t tell you how I am still standing.

But I am.

I feel like the Black Knight in Monty Python and The Holy Grail. You can strike every limb off of me and I would still say ‘tis but a scratch! But I don’t want to be this person! I would love to have a nice, steady, quiet life, but life has different ideas.

And we are ok with it. We have to be, because there is no other way to be.

Grief has engulfed us, and it’s not just for Meisee that Haydn and I mourn, but also everything else we have had to sacrifice along this path. But we keep going and will continue to do so.

When I started Adventures on a Rey of Light, I couldn’t think of anything worse than what we went through with our first daughter, Rey. Now life has taken on us on a completely different adventure – and it is one I would never wish upon anybody. I just hope that some good can be inspired, and come out of this. (The good news is it already is and I’ll go into more detail in the next blogs I post.)

In the meantime, please keep us #WaldenWarriors in your thoughts as I finish chemo and the mightiest of girls Rey and #MightyMeisee

With love to you all xXx

An evening with the Dames

One Friday, we abandoned date night for some prime time with our genders! Haydn went on a lads dinner out, I went for my first night out with the ladies affectionately known as the ThunderDames! So the title kind of makes us sound like a bunch of warrior super heroes to me, but the name in fact has origins of a completely different nature. The Thunder Dome is a hub in Atlanta for up and coming film directors and editors alike, where this little clan of guys live, work and breathe film 24/7 with every intention of bettering themselves so they can get further in their careers. 

The place has been alive now for quite a few years and the men eventually got girlfriends and wives, but still held a strong relationship with the Thunder Dome and the new generations coming through its doors. The ladies would come along to these events and could see the commeraderie of the brotherhood, so the idea was thrown about of the possibility of having a sisterhood evening every so often. And there the Thunder Dames idea was born!

My lovely friend, Lanae hosted the evening with around 8 of us attending. We had plenty of pizza, snacks and wine to go around in this makeshift cinema. The conversation was flowing and it was refreshing to discuss the arts and life in general with new faces.

This first official night focused on a film called the Secret Life of Bees. I assumed this would be a documentary with a title like that…but it wasn’t in the slightest! The film focused on a girl (Lily) who accidentally killed her mother when she was 4. She struggles with the guilt and decides to run away to a honey producers. I’m not going to give you the whole synopsis, but so you have get the concept, it takes you through her life and emotional struggles as she strives to be a stronger woman. 

   
“People who think dying is the worst thing don’t know a thing about life.”

This notion resonated deeply with me, as being strong is something I feel I must be a lot of the time. The film shows that regardless of how strong a woman you feel you must be, you don’t have to hold back your emotions, you can be open, you can talk, you can cry you can release and should be able to feel safe in showing this side. I do this most days, and I always feel better for doing it!

I really recommend you watching the film or buying the book, as it is so powerful and has a really sweet message. We all cried! I loved that at the end we discussed at length how in some way at least one of the characters resonated with us personally, and that it felt comforting to observe how they handled the situations. The characters have fine individual stories which bind them together in the most unlikely of ways and you can certainly find one that you can relate to as well! 

With Rey in our hearts always and forever xxxx